Martin is an Ass…

Martin is an ass!

Yes, I said it. In fact he says it all the time about himself, and most people would agree with me as well.  I am not going to protect him or make excuses because he is a big boy, If anything I am more of the lines making “peace” during the time the filter comes off because its easier to take it out on the person trying to make things right, then the actual culprit.

I am part of multiple major message board groups, all very different in there philosophies and what their aims are. I do so because I am not a one dimensional person, while I am on Atkins, I may also love to play chess and there may be little discussion on chess playing here. While I enjoy boating, I may also love to sing, I love writing, but I also love teaching couples therapy for bedroom enhancement.  All the groups, message boards, blogs, all have a few things in common. It’s a list of issues that cross the boundaries of what ever anyone’s belief is, and is the center of any controversy no matter where it is said…

1-The idea of Inclusion.  Society is teaching us that everyone (should) be equal, that everyone has the “right” to be included in anything and everything that one chooses ß-Do you agree and do you fight against this?

2-The Idea of Respect.  Always a Debate on whether respect should be given or earned?

3-The idea of Hiding behind the computer screen.  Would people really do the things they do in written word,  or the way they talk to each other online, would they have the “balls” to say it to a persons face?

4-Thin Skin-Feelings, and the appropriateness of what should be said. People are bound to offend someone somewhere no matter what. There will never be a uniform agreement on anything.

5-“train wrecks” or controversies, will always get most people talking.

So far, I can read countless messages where these 3 ideas creep up in all the forums I am apart of.

Martin, my fiancé, will tell it as it is. There is no filter in his mind. If someone is yabbering on and on, and not listening or reasoning, he will basically tell them to STFU. Very bold, Very powerful, Very out of place. I question how many people would flat out do this? Does it make it right, Does it make it wrong? I know I am among the dumbfounded people with no reaction if someone just told me to STFU to my face and probably would remain speechless.

There is a story of him when he was at his job in which on a self evaluation he wrote “THIS IS ALL BULL SHIT” that’s probably something all of us have thought about or wanted to say, yet fear of the consequences, fear of what would happen outweighed the choice to say what we emotionally felt, so instead one would write how “hard, working, motivated, dedicated they are to their work”  a false front in order to make the appearance of what we think others want to hear rather then what is really on our minds.

Maybe that is the idea, we try so hard to “please” other people, saying the things we think they want them to hear, and then backpeddling as fast as we can when someone gets offended.

I am going to give a few famous examples- and please this is not a debate about these individual examples, but trying to look at the big picture.

Don Imus Scandel with the Rutgers Basketball team – He was taken down for racism, for insults, for inappropriate usage.  (the key word in this one is Racism)

Phil Robertson during his interview-He is currently battling religion vs sexual freedom

In fact, just look at a whole bunch of people who brought controversy, Justine Sacco, Paula Deen, Pax Dickenson, Miley Cyrus, In fact, lets just say this, anyone who is in the public eye is bound to offend someone sometime. Its human nature.  There will be a trigger that someone says or does, or hits a nerve at the moment where people are most vulnerable and that will cause a complete debate. The debate gets so engrossed that usually some of the hidden messages and jewels of wisdom that comes out of things gets lost in the meaning because the controversy is so great.

One bad moment, will completely out weight any good a person has done.  History proves that.

So with my multiple threads where this can turn, lets go back to Martin, the ass hole. A term of endearment for him, yet a term of disgust for others. I ask, should people be allowed to say what they want to say?  We are all opinionated, we all have our ideas and thoughts, and each thought process is completely unique.
Certain topics seem to be complete triggers for some. You can look at the unalienable rights that we all have, but within each of us there will be triggers especially if someones thought is outside the box.

Freedom of Speech-such a concept that it frequently involves the judicial system with case after case exploring whether freedom of speech was violated.

I often ask if the only reason something is controversial because one group was successful enough to trigger “anger” in another group.

My initial post had some gems of thought but the focus shifted….the realization that I come up with was that I spend too much time opening my mouth, not only to ingest food, but also making excuses. Even now, my voice is blabbering on about topics, issues, thoughts justifications, realizations, and admittance.

I offer to you all a perspective of my thoughts and beliefs and question everyone to look within themselves to answer some of the questions that I have. No one says that you have to agree with me, I also welcome those who disagree with me, the uniqueness of the individual thought process that we all have within can bring together conversation.

Yet, I find that #5 on my list to be so true. Controversies will always get people talking.

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